Friday, October 15, 2010

There She Blew!

So it finally caught up with me yesterday. I finally snapped. It was bad. It could have been worse. But it was still bad.

Let's start with the back story. One of the most aggravating things about this upcoming deployment is how much it is costing us. Yes, it's about $$$$ this time. We are living on one income. (I have yet to find a job and we have lived here for almost a 1 1/2 years. But let's save that for another entry.)

 My husband is in the military and is paid to do his job in the military. However, he feels that in order to do his job well (a top priority for him, obviously) he has to supplement the gear that he has been issued personally and for the section that he is in charge of with his own funds. The first gear issue he received, nothing fit correctly. Apparently they received everything in L, XL, and XXL. (Yes my husband is tall, but not tall enough to wear Medium Extra Long) I knew how frustrated I was and I couldn't even imagine how frustrated he was. What makes this even worse is that he just received a brief from HQ about all of the cool gear that was part of the deployment issue and how much of it they have stocked in warehouses. He was hardly issued any of it, and what he was issued, didn't fit. About a week later, he was able to go exchange it all. But is still not issued everything that he was told. Even the items that are on his unit's own gear list are not there. How is he supposed to pack everything that is on the list, if he doesn't have it?

Then there are the comfort items. It is hard to tell your husband that he really doesn't need something that he says he needs when he is about to go fight a war on the other side of the world. Try it. The words just don't come out of your mouth. No matter how badly you want them too. Every time he mentions something else I hear the sound of a cash register and I see our bank account shriveling into nothing. So yesterday we were at a military surplus store buying dog tags and uniform patches because the ones they got from supply didn't fit on their uniforms (insert one of the many WTF faces here). Husband comes walking up to the register holding a field chair and that was it. I stopped him before he even got to me to ask me about it. I said quite loudly, in front of every one at the store (including one of his superiors) that he couldn't get it and went on and on about how we can't pay for this deployment when the military is supposed to be funding this etc etc... I was treating him like a child that asks their mom for the millionth time if they can get some ice cream at the mall. The clerk was laughing. He didn't think it was very funny. He told me later that I had embarrassed him and I felt horrible. I told him how I felt about all of our spending and how frustrated I was and how we just couldn't afford all of this.
I was hoping I could handle this situation with a little more grace and a lot less public displays. Hopefully this was a one time thing and since I released some of my tension it won't happen again.

On a lighter note we are going on a date tonight. My parents (who are super awesome!)gave us a gift of $100 to spend on a night out before husband leaves. So we decided to go to the

Melting Pot!!!
I love this restaurant. I think it is the perfect date restaurant because it's interactive and because it takes longer that most restaurants, it give you time to talk and enjoy each others company. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!


  1. I love you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time but I totally feel you. I know that finances are tough and feeling like you have to pay for him to be deployed is so conflicting!! :( Call me if you ever want to rant!

  2. Thanks! Careful, I might take you up on that!!